Marriage rights

MARRIAGE RIGHTS: I’ve been married for nearly a year and a half now and my husband wants to be more adventurous in his sex with me – doing all kinds of things that I feel very uncomfortable with. He says now that we’re married he can do what he likes with me. Some things he wants to do are against my religious beliefs.  At least once he forced me to have sex when I didn’t want to.  Do I have any rights about this?

 

These ‘forced-sex’ activities in marriage have come before the courts a number of times. It is a crime in many of the States for a husband to force sex onto his wife – if the wife does not consent. This means that in certain circumstances a husband in marriage can be charged with raping his wife. There is a misunderstanding among some men who think that just because they are married they have absolute ‘conjugal’  (marriage) rights to have sex anytime, anywhere and any place and without consent. Sex without consent is a crime inside and outside of marriage. I suggest that you and your husband obtain the services of a professional marriage counselor who can help you to assert your rights in these matters. But be warned; if your husband is not responsive – not prepared to respect your rights and thinks he can abuse his position as a husband against the law, you will have to decide whether to stay in the marriage.  Be careful: if you do not complain it could be construed you are consenting to his demands – a creative defence lawyer for the husband could put up the defence of estoppel –  if you’re not complaining, you’re consenting.

Under age marriage

. MARRIAGE BEFORE 16 YEARS: I am 15 years and 9 months old  and want to marry my boyfriend  six years older than me but my parents are against it. I love him truly and I think it is unfair that my parents will not let me marry him. Is there anything I can do about my problem?

Yes, there is. First go and see your local Chamber Magistrate. If he/she thinks you have a good case he will refer you to legal aid, if you qualify for legal aid. The matter will be listed for a hearing where your partner to marry must also attend. Usually both of you are put into the witness box to tell the magistrate about your circumstances. Your solicitor will be asking you for detailed information about your capacity to earn reasonable money to be self sufficient, if you are a responsible, mature person, about your employment, your future accommodation and so on. Your partner too will be asked a lot of relevant questions and if the magistrate thinks that you do have the capacity to look after yourselves in a reasonable way for the present and the immediate future, he could make an order that you will be allowed to marry.

Breach of promise to marry

BREACH OF PROMISE TO MARRY: I am fairly good looking 28 years old female with a reasonably good figure. My ex-fiance who I was going out with for nearly four years decided to dump me for no apparent reason. I am very hurt and feel I was regularly sexually exploited for four years. Can I sue him?

You cannot legally enforce a ‘promise’ the way you can enforce a binding contract. In the old days, Hollywood celebrities used to talk about suing some ex-fiance for damages for a breach of a ‘marriage promise’, but promises are legally NOT enforceable. A ‘promise’ does not have the same legal ingredients as a contract. If a promise had the same legal ingredients as a contract, then it would not be a ‘promise’, it would be an enforceable contract. One also has to be careful about making claims of sexual exploitation. If your partner can show there was consent by you for any sexual activities, you won’t have a case against him in this respect. In court, claims could backfire. For example, whilst you claim, perhaps rightly so, that you were regularly sexually exploited, your fiancé might be advised to make the same claim against you. The male partner could claim, “She was the one who was sexually demanding.” Who is the court going to believe? One can understand the court not being able to accept the argument from either of the parties. In civil matters, the person taking out a legal action has to prove on balance of probabilities. In these circumstances, it would not be too easy to do that.